Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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