okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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