So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
