i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
either way he was missing a nipple.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize