found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
