Screwed.edu
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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