It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I lost the right to judge tonight
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
