my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
