You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
In America we eat man semen.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Randomize
