that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize