how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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