I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
You're like the curious george of whores
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
