people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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