Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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