I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize