I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize