How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Randomize
