You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
she looked like the before picture.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
