We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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