I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
