Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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