The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
