thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
