only if we run a train.
done.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
