took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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