She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
this boner is exhausting
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
