I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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