I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
