i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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