Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Drunk is a universal language darling
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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