Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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