Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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