if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
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