We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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