i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
