how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
