it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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