i already hear my dad disowning me
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Randomize