dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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