just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize
