his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
