my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
