smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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