And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize