Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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