I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
We were destined to go to rehab together
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I have feelings that need drinking.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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