I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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