Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
