it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
