The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I cannot find my penis.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
