Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
