I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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