just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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