You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
